Anyone who knows me knows that I heart Jill Scott. Indeed, when the movie of my life is made, I want her to play me.Earlier this week Jill Scott announced her engagement to her bandmate/drummer John Roberts during a concert at Carnegie Hall. Last year she divorced from her husband Lyzel Williams.
Now, I've read a lot of hateration about Jill's love life since this announcement: it's too soon after her divorce, you shouldn't date someone you work with (or who works for you), he's a gold digger, this reeks of desperation, and so on. And, I must admit, my first inclination was to be like "Jill, I hope you make him sign an iron clad pre-nup!" But, since we don't know these folks and can only speculate, what can we really say?
I have been thinking a lot about love lately. I've taught courses on the role of love in literature and it's always so interesting to hear undergrads wax poetic about "true love" and all sorts of other nonsense. But, in all due seriousness, the politics of Jill's move aside, I think much of hate out there about this is about scarcity.
What do I mean by scarcity? I mean operating from an ideology or epistemology of scarcity. The idea that fundamentally there is lack, that there just isn't enough in the universe. Enough food, enough money, enough love. I am not claiming there isn't poverty in the world; it is for real and definitely not imagined. Indeed, there is enough to go around, just not everybody's getting it. But that's a whole nother blog.
What I mean by poverty is poverty of imagination. You know, this idea that you have one soul mate and if you don't find that mofo, that's it. The idea that if you are 35 you are going to get hit by lightning before you get booed up. I refute it and rebuke it. Maybe it isn't the wisest move to marry your drummer (or maybe it's a brilliant move, I dunno), but I do not doubt there is enough love out there for Jill to go through a horrible divorce and find love the next year. And not because she's "Jill Scott" but because she's a human being. And don't we all want to be loved?
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2 comments:
This is an interesting rumination on the scarcity of love and the poverty of imagination--part of the problem with haters, I think, is that their hate manifests a deeper seated cowardice (and perhaps jealousy) because the person upon whom (keep it academic) they're hating has the COURAGE to go against the grain--to, in this instance, marry a drummer. And if it doesn't work? And if it does? As long as Ms. Scott is trying to live her best life--or what she thinks is her best life at this moment--then that's wassup. Even if it doesn't work, it may not be for the reasons people are hypothesizing--because, as much as people would have you believe otherwise, people change in fundamental ways, despite all the putative astrologers who would have you to believe that the "signs" were always already present.
Theoretically, I prefer to err on the side of generosity. The way to battle the ideology of poverty and epistemic scarcity, can only be by making more space and pushing our ideas of what is good and what is acceptable. The human spirit and social psyche can only benefit from some non-judgemental generosity. I say that the divine Ms. Jill should get her some love!
That said, I hope she has a bitchin' pre-nup. Because, generosity of spirit isn't always reciprocated. And I'm always, you know, lookin' out.
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